*DISCLAIMER* If you are not a family member or friend, and don't even know me, the following blog entry is not meant for you to read, so please go stalk someone elses' blog!
I am sorry in advance to anyone who this blog may offend, but I have to get something off my chest, I can't hold this issue in any longer. I got in big trouble a few months back for a blog posting in which I spoke my feelings in a moment of stress and turbulence in our life. And while I fought the inner struggle between being upset for getting in trouble for expressing my thoughts and feelings meant for only family and friends to read and having to reword the things that I wrote, due to certain circumstances, I have remained committed to silencing my true thoughts and feelings. Today I am breaking my silence on one HUGE issue I have, and because we are hated here for being "outsidders" anyway, I no longer care what people think about what I have to say regarding this issue.
This morning, as I stood in my kitchen hand washing my dishes, as I do on a daily basis...I washed dishes with tears streaming down my face. Why you ask? Because across the way, I could hear the sounds of LOUD SMACKS and SCREAMS from a young child. The more she screamed, and the louder the scream, the more smacks she got, and the harder they were. After listening to this child getting beat for a LONG period of time, in a moment of rage, I quickly got dressed, and stormed out the door in hopes of finding this offender, and giving him a piece of my mind. Unfortunately, things got quiet, then I heard the same occurence happening again, and in my distressed mind, I could not figure out which unit the sounds was coming from. My intentions were to go tell this parent that their actions were intolerable. I was quickly stopped in my tracks when I rationally tried to play out in my mind what I would say, and what the offenders response back to me would be. I realized that I would be extremely upset if someone tried to tell me what I could and couldn't do to my child.
While I realize this is a "cultural" thing...I wonder, when will the violence end? I remember my dad telling us stories of when he and his siblings were younger, they were taken over the knee of their dad and got smacked with the belt, but HELLO WORLD...that was in the 1950's! We are in the 2000's and in a completely different world where abuse of any sort is NEVER tolerated. What I hate even more is that if I were to have called the cops this morning, they would have laughed at me, and never showed up, likewise with CPS, because as I said, BEATING YOUR CHILD is acceptable in many of the cultures here.
Even more disturbing is that these abusers are members of our church. Members who have been warned by Prophets and counseled that child abuse is the most heinous act of violence.
"Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:6) I often wonder if abuse here is overlooked? On the mainland you can be put on church disciplinary for spousal and/or child abuse. What saddens me even more is that my sweet, young, and innocent children witness forms of abuse every day. The other day at the park, a dad hit his son and daughter on the head with some kind of stick, and hard, for throwing sand. FOR THROWING SAND!!! Something that EVERY child does! The walls here are very thin, and my kids can hear when the babies and children cry, and then say to me, "ooohhhhh......baby sad." It makes my stomach churn.
So, this morning I sit here writing, with total and complete regret, and wanting to kick myself for NOT taking a stand, and not fighting for what I believe in,...fighting for the innocent lambs of our world, and for not taking more of a stand to stop the abuse. Who cares what that parent would have said to me?! SOMETHING needs to be said, and I fear all of us here on this beautiful island feel the same way, and don't do something about it, because of fear. So lets rise up against this heinous crime, and take a stand. If we don't help break they cycle, when will it ever end?
4 comments:
im trying not to cry just hearing that! I cant believe the cops wont do anything- have you tried calling the cops on them?? if I were you I would FOR SURE tell the bishop- even if they dont have your same bishop- your bishop will help find the right one. I bet even if you can figure out which place is theirs, next time it happens, go over there, give him a piece of your mind and tell them that if you ever hear a smack again you will continually tell on them. (Dont say the crying cuz they may hurt the kid just cuz theyre being loud!) I never experienced that while living there- im so sorry your having to deal with that. Do something about it! The kids will thank you some day, if not today!!! Screw the culture- beating others is against the church beliefs!!! Good luck girl, love you! PS- nathan have any suggestions??
I can try and find out who their bishop is, but I'm not sure it will make a difference around here. I think I will have to inform someone, church authorities on the mainland, because around here, people seriously get up and in their testimonies, say they feel really bad about beating their child bloody last week, blah blah blah. They believe abuse is the only way to teach a child. But I'm definitely doing my research...trust me on this one.
I totally know how you feel. Just a few weeks ago I yelled at a women in the Wa Mart bathroom for slapping her little girl because she was taking too long to go pee! Of course I kind of cheated because the women was in the stall with her little girl and so she couldn't see me. And after I yelled at her I booked it out of there as fast as I could so she wouldn't see who I was and come slap me too. It's beyond heart-breaking and frustrating to see.
Oh my gosh, I feel bad when I spank my kids hard or have to drag them by their arm into their rooms, like I'm abusing them or something. But I would never hit them over the head with a stick or hit them so hard that you could hear it in another apartment!! Thats so annoying. I would tell a bishop or something and say you don't want to tattle but youre concerned about the kids because it sounds brutal. Sad!
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